Chapter Text
BRIIIIING.
BRIIIING.
BRIIIIIING.
“Mmmm bug, shut that off.”
Ranboo continued to snore.
“Bug?”
“Hmmmm. Shhhh.”
“Did you just [beep]-ing shush me?”
“Mmmm mhm.” They muttered as they nuzzled their cheek closer to him.
Their hot morning breath tickled against his back, and their arms were wrapped loosely around his torso, with one hand slithered under the waistband of his boxers, while the other sat resting on his pec, just above his heart. It thrummed rhythmically throughout the night, making it the perfect way for them to drift off to sleep after the tiring day the two of them had.
All they wanted to do was sleep through the morning with their husband, which was why their brain had chosen to ignore their buzzing, ringing, and worst of all, loud as hell communicator that had been left face down on their nightstand before they went to bed.
The first rays of sun hadn’t even peaked through the sky yet, which had only just begun to turn a light shade of lilac and orange, fluffy white clouds floating aimlessly through the last remnants of stars. Why should they have to get up just yet? The kids weren’t awake either, so there was no rush to get breakfast started. The two of them should get at least another hour- two hours if they were lucky- before they had to prepare pancake batter and scrambled eggs with potato wedge smiley faces.
So when the blaring ringtone faded as quickly as it had sounded, and a beat of silence passed, Tubbo sighed in relief and closed his eyes again, ready to drift back off and-
BRIIIING.
His eyes snapped open.
BRIIIIING.
“Ranbooooo.” This time he groaned louder as he burrowed his face further into his pillowcase, which was covered in a small puddle of his own drool. “Turn it off, please. I used the magic word. So use the magic of silent mode.”
“Mnnnghh?” They poked their head out from being tucked in between his shoulder blades, Tubbo having fallen asleep to the ghost of their lips tracing along his skin. “Turn wha’ off?”
BRIIIIIIING.
“That.” He grumbled and rolled over to face them despite their spider monkey-like grasp. “Did you set an alarm? On a freaking Sunday?”
“Mmmm, I don’ think so?”
“I hope you did and just forgot.” Tubbo scowled as he leaned his head down into the crook of their neck, making them coo and press a sleepy kiss to the top of his head. “Because if someone’s calling you at [beep] o’clock in the gods damn morning, I’ll-”
BRIIIIIIING.
Now it was Ranboo’s turn to groan.
Tubbo was right.
Who was calling them before the sun was even up?
They unraveled their arm that had long gone numb from being wrapped around Tubbo like the coil of a python. They never realized it while awake, but in their sleep, they were just as strong as any other Enderman, if the slight bruising around their husband’s rib cage was any indication to go off of. They’d have to run something around it later, and hoped they still had a tub of aloe in the bathroom.
Before their com could ring for the eight time, Ranboo picked it up and pressed the button on the side of the purple casing.
They had to squint when the bright blue screen lit up their face, and pressed the ‘down’ arrow on their keypad until it was at a suitable hue that didn’t burn his retinas. Once the words became legible, all they had to do was read the first three letters that popped up from their ‘missed calls’ tab.
“Whossit?” Tubbo mumbled, still hoping to get some sleep.
“It’s…Mumbo?”
“Mumbo?”
He propped himself up onto his elbows, staring at Ranboo through a mess of fluffy pink bedhead.
“The hell does Mumbo want at this hour?”
“I dunno- should I call him?”
“I reckon you might as well.” He rolled his eyes, resting his chin lazily on his palm.
“You don’t think it’s an emergency, do you?”
“Eh?” He moved his other hand. “About a fifty-fifty shot the world’s ending.”
“Oh no- don’t say that.” They groaned, thumbing the keyboard until they properly pulled up his contact. “I don’t want that. It’s Sunday. I want pancakes. It’s pancake Sunday.”
“‘Pancake Sunday’- are we making that official?”
“We should! I like pancakes!”
“Everyone likes pancakes. And most people like Sundays.” He tapped his finger against his chin. “I suppose the two combined just makes the two things more likable. Huh.”
Now it was Ranboo’s turn to fondly roll their eyes. They leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek, making him blink in surprise like a startled cat from its slumber.
“What was that for?” He asked with a chuckle.
“What?” They giggled back. “I can’t kiss my fiancé?”
Fiancé.
Fiancé.
If Tubbo were with anyone else, he wouldn’t allow such a wide and corny grin to spread across his face.
But since he was about to spend the rest of his life-and even beyond that if he had anything to say about it- with them, he could make an exception.
“You-” He scoffed whilst still smiling like a fool. “You shut up.”
Ranboo laughed at his sudden spout of bashfulness, only turning back to their com when it began to ring again.
But this time the call wasn’t from Mumbo.
CLICK.
“Phil?” Ranboo asked with a yawn. “Is everything alright? Mumbo called like, eight times and-”
“How come I have to find out from the NEWS that you and Tubbo did a proper engagement?!” Philza exclaimed indignantly. “Way to keep us in the f*cking loop! Come on mate, detail, I want details!”
“What the-? How did you-?”
“Could’ve called us, you know!” He continued on his tirade, the clop clop clop of his geta audible through the speaker. “Would it have killed you to pick up the com?! ‘Hey Phil, just so you know I made a really important life decision and now I’ve got a WEDDING TO PLAN’- nope! Had to hear from my BROTHER that you’re getting hitched! Unbelievable!”
“We were gonna tell you today- wait wait, can you slow down?” Ranboo ran a hand down their face.
The footsteps stopped dead in their tracks.
Tubbo just stared at Ranboo with raised brows when they shrugged, and he shrugged back.
“Who told you we were engaged?” Ranboo asked.
“No one had to tell me!” Phil practically shouted. “I watch the recap! I know the sh*t that’s been going down on Hermitcraft!”
“The recap-?”
Tubbo quickly sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.
If Phil and Mumbo were blowing up Ranboo’s com, then he could only imagine what his inbox looked like.
“Yes!” Phil exclaimed, his voice mixing with Tubbo rummaging through their bedside drawer to grab his communicator.
“You watch the recap?”
“You don’t?”
“I didn’t think I needed to? I live here?”
Tubbo pulled his communicator from underneath balls of crumpled up paper, and flipped it open with a wince.
Ranboo’s head snapped up from their call.
“How many?” They groaned.
“Martyn, Quackity, [beep]-ing Jack- does everyone and their mother know about this?!”
“Check the recap!” Phil yelled through the speaker, loud enough that Tubbo could hear him from pressed against Ranboo’s ear. “Niki says it’s trending on MineSpace too, but I don’t use that sh*t. Rots your brain.”
“Yeah yeah, whatever, Oldza.”
He decidedly ignored Phil’s now muffled protests as he pulled YouTube up.
The antenna had to be twisted and turned for a proper signal to be picked up, but once his screen had as clear an FPS as it could get on such an older model with all the mods Tubbo could possibly pile onto it, he could finally get a clear view of the homepage.
Without having to type anything in at all, the latest episode of the recap sat in front of him, clear as day.
He gulped, almost afraid to click on it.
If he were being honest, he’d much rather listen to poor Ranboo getting chewed out by Philza Minecraft. At least he got a chuckle out of that, and knew that over seventeen million people weren’t listening in on it.
Seventeen million.
It was no wonder his thumb trembled when he hit the ‘play’ button.
The cheery, upbeat music that instantly greeted him did nothing to calm his nerves. In fact, as the voice of Pixlriffs said, “This week, on Hermitcraft!-” followed by a clip of BDubs, Cub, Cleo, and Ren in the Nether, he could feel his heart begin to hammer against his ribs, causing them to creek and shudder like an old camera struggling to contain a burning up reel of film.
“Welcome to the Hermitcraft Recap! My name is Pixlriffs, our writer is ZloyXP, captions on this video are provided by Lyarrah!”
Okay, so far so good.
“And before we get started with the main show this week, we here at the recap would just like to wish Tubbo Underscore Beloved and Ranboo Underscore Beloved a congratulations on their official engagement!”
There it was.
“We wish you both all the best, and look forward to covering your wedding! Now, onto the main show!”
That was all Tubbo needed to see.
He groaned, slammed his com shut like a clamshell, and asked groggily, “Who else has seen it?”
“Who hasn’t seen it?” Phil says with a scoff. “Me, Techno, ‘n Mumbo were some of the first over here! Then we called Niki, and she told Jack Manifold, who told Puffy, who told Eret. Then Mumbo called Martyn who told Red, obviously, and then told Quackity, who told his partner Etho who-”
“So everyone on the DreamSMP and beyond knows our [beep]-ing business before any of the Hermits do?”
“Yep, sorry mate.”
He groaned and flopped backwards onto the bed.
Ranboo couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yeah uh, sorry we didn’t tell you, Phil. Really, we were planning on telling everyone today! But yesterday it was- it was pretty hectic! We just wanted some quiet time with the boys before everyone got wedding fever.”
Phil sighed through the com. “I ‘spose I could understand that. sh*t, the only reason Techno hasn’t called you is he’s waiting for you to tell him personally. Told me, ‘don’t believe everything you see on the news, Phil.’ And people call me Oldza.”
“Well, I mean-”
“Watch it! I’m Whitelisted over there!”
Ranboo gulped.
“I’m gonna letcha go for now, though.” Phil said. “Because you! Have a Techno to call! He’s pacing a hole in my good rug.”
“R-Right. Right. And then I’ll call Mumbo.”
“You better! He’s gray enough as it is!”
That got a chuckle out of them. “Okay, okay. I’ll call you later. Love you.”
“Love you too. And congrats-!”
CLICK.
Ranboo flopped down next to Tubbo with a deep groan of their own.
“We really should’ve told everyone.” They said, throwing their arm over their eyes.
“We didn’t even tell my aunt. Or the boys.”
“Oh gosh, we didn’t tell Tommy.”
Tubbo’s eyes widened. “Holy [beep] I didn’t tell my sister I’m getting married.”
Ranboo let out a startled laugh.
“C’mon- don’t laugh!” He huffed, giving them a nudge. “She’s gonna kick my [beep] when she gets up!”
“It’s Sunday.” They said. “She’ll be sleeping till noon.”
“Still! Don’t let the fact she eats rabbit food fool you, I bet she’s faster than anyone on this server.”
“Really?”
“Really. She’s like a cheetah on steroids.”
“That’s…certainly an image.”
Tubbo sighed and sank further into the comforter. “Still want her as my best woman though.”
“That’s not surprising.” They said. “I dunno who I’m gonna pick. Maybe Niki? Niki and I are pretty close.”
“Is…is it weird I don’t want Auntie giving me away to you?”
They moved their arm from being draped melodramatically over their eyes so that they could probably hold Tubbo’s hand. They squeezed it once, twice, thrice, and got the same number of squeezes back without a word about it spoken between them.
“I don’t think so.” They said.
Tubbo exhaled a breath of relief he didn’t know he was holding.
“If not Iskall than-?”
“It’s gotta be Martyn.” He said.
Ranboo cracked a soft smile. “Oh, he’ll love that. He’ll cry.”
“And Techno won’t, giving you away?”
“How’d you know-?”
“Because who else would?”
Ranboo sighed and looked up at the ceiling, the glow in the dark stars dull as the sky was finally a proper shade of watercolor blue. “He’s- he’s gonna cry so hard.” They said, voice cracking.
Tubbo reached over and brushed the tears away before they could start to trickle down their cheeks.
“Hey, hey-” He said softly. He rolled over so he was looming on top of them and leaned down until he was pressing his forehead to theirs. “We’ve got all season to worry about that.”
“We do?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I reckon we do. I reckon we should wait.”
“We should?” They asked.
“We’ve already waited, what, five years to do this the proper way?” He chuckled. “What’s till the end of the Season?”
Ranboo smiled up at him, putting their free hand over his.
“We’ll start Season 10 as a married couple.” They said.
"Mr and Mr Underscore Beloved.” Tubbo sighed dreamily. He plopped down onto their chest, and chuckled when they wheezed. “Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
Ranboo ran a hand through his hair. “It does…stars, I love you.”
“I love you too.” He hummed, head above their left heart. “You wanna stay like this forever?”
“I’d love to.” They said, wrapping their arms and tail around him. “But ya know we should probably call Techno. And Martyn. And Mumbo. And at least text Tommy before she goes on a rampage.”
“Why do you have to make such good points?” Tubbo groaned.
“Because I think I’m pretty smart sometimes?”
“You’re smart all the time.” He corrected with a huff. “And comfortable.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Like if a waterbed had chronic anxiety.”
Ranboo laughed, making Tubbo bounce up and down on their chest.
They wished that the two of them could stay like that forever.
But one look at the ring gleaming perfectly in the sunlight on their finger made them want to get up, ignore whatever the day had to bring, and begin to plan the future greatest day of their life.
